i'm back, homies!

hello friends! my first post from the east coast in a while... well, the east coast of the USA, that is.
yes, i'm here. no, i'm not just here for christmas time. i'm back to stay. well, for however long God permits. but i have no plans on going back to spain for a long-term stay again. though some might doubt my time there this time around was "long term." sometimes when i think about my 3 months in spain, it seems like a blink of an eye. and other times, it seems like a really long time. depends what memories i'm thinking about.

so the answer to the big question: YES, i am going to keep blogging.  ;)

oh, that wasn't your question? maybe you were thinking more along the lines of WHY?! Maybe you are wondering why I would ever leave the mediterranean coast in exchange for the "arm pit of america." well, 1) i ain't livin in no armpit!  and 2) just because it sounds glamorous doesn't mean it is. daily life is the same whether you are in nj, spain, russia, the coolest place or the most boring. basically, you still have to do the normal daily routines of things. and 3) i think it was just the perfect amount of time. 4) God provided me with the opportunity to go to spain and he provided me with the opportune time to come home.

there are more reasons that will unfold to me and i will probably understand as my life progresses more, but this isn't a sad thing that i came home. i don't need anyone's pity. it's not a shame that things didn't work out.  it isn't a disappointment. i'm sad that i left my friends and family. i'm sad i had to leave new relationships. but i am so joyful to be back home.  i went over not sure what to expect, trusting god with my palms open. and he reminded me that he gives and takes away.

from the moment i stepped foot in newark liberty, i was beaming with a smile. i was like elf, gazing out the window, being pushed around by angry workers, yet smiling thinking this is the most beautiful place on earth! heh. ok. a little much, i know. but each day has just brought me more confirmation of a new season in my life! a time to put into action what god has been teaching me this past season.

already a perk: this past weekend, i got to go to a bridal shower for a good friend from college. what a blessing to see old college friends. weird that i can say that now... i have buddies from college. hmm. anyways, afterward, we were all talking about our lives. and commenting on how weird it is that we are where we are. how we NEVER would have guessed that this is how it would be now.  we are all scattered about, doing adult things (some of us more adult than others!). but there was just something so beautiful about that moment. i looked around and observed us all so interested in what each other has going on. we laughed. we shared stories. we remembered old ones.

you know how i kept talking about seasons through this all?? well, seriously. God had me there for a season. the week i began to leave for the states, the weather began to change, finally. it began to get cold. and now, i'm back home. and it's winter. the weird warm weather is gone. it's like i get a physical reminder of the new time in my life. there's this song that came on my pandora (so happy to have it back because it makes a mix of the artists/genres for me!) by nichole nordeman called Every Season. Chances are that you'll think it's a cheezy song. Because, well, it kinda is. But I like it. Duh.

Well, it talks about seeing God in each of the 4 seasons. I like this verse:

And everything in time and under heaven finally falls asleep
wrapped in blankets white, all creation shivers underneath
And still I notice you when branches crack 
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter...

OK. so, maybe life isn't exactly playing out how I imagined it would. how could i have known? we can't. but i'm totally ok with that. in fact, i prefer it that way.