There have been so many moments these past 28 days where I have thought, oh man, I gotta blog about that but then Felix started crying or fussing and I needed to change his diaper, which caused him to spit up so I had to change his outfit, and then all that movement made him poop again so I had to change his diaper again and then expending all that energy made him hungry so I had to feed him. And after he was fed (which, BTW, is a whole other blog monster in itself!) he was happy and sleepy so he was sleeping. And then I had the option to sleep or do something. No, like something for myself. And something for myself has quickly evolved to things like getting a drink of water, brushing my hair, taking a shower, wiping down a counter (yes, I said A counter... don't get too greedy now), opening up the blinds... you catching my drift?!
So, my 20 second gushing over my new baby boy time! He's pretty much the cutest baby out there. Now, since many of you are mothers I can revise my statement to "the cutest baby boy I've ever had" that way we can all still get along. But, you know how I really feel. Well, he is! He's so sweet. It's weird to say that because he's so helpless that he literally can't even keep his eyes uncrossed at times and so to think he has a personality is crazy strange, but he does! And he is sweet. Like I just looked at him (because he's laying across my lap because he needs some mommy snuggle time in order to stay sleeping right now... just laying in the bassinet at night next to me is not enough closeness for him... can you blame him?) OK, right, so I look at him and he's all eyes shut and mouth open but not snoring and his chubby cheeks are just being all chubby and he's sweet. He really only cries when he wants/needs something. It's the whole figuring out what the heck he wants that is the challenging part. But hey, we're past the one month date so I think we're doing pretty good. It's crazy how much he has changed already. Developmentally and physically. His tiny fingernails now seem big enough and not super flimsy where I don't have to wait for Mike to come home to trim those puppies down. And he's awake more. Or as my nephew says "His eyes are open for so long!" Yes, his eyes stay open more and he does things like kinda focus on you and follow objects around (as long as they are approximately no more than 12" away from him. Unless of course it's the bright lights from our chandelier... he's like a little moth going to the light!). And I broke out the activity gym yesterday. It's actually my kind of gym. He lays on a soft mat and stuffed animals dangle from above and he can stretch out his arms and legs and then I give him a high five! Also, it has a ball pit attached to it! I can't wait for him to be old enough for that. Well... maybe I can wait!
AH! Labor and delivery! I'm not going to go into the whole story and details here. (You're welcome). Because birth is not for the weak stomached. Feel free to ask me and I will tell you in person! But for those of you who just can't stand it, here's the very brief version of it. I was induced on Tuesday night. (Yes, originally we were planning for Monday night induction but my doc had a family emergency and so her covering doc (Dr. P) ended up being on call so we rescheduled for Tuesday... hey, life happens!) It was a "two part" induction and I do recall Dr. P saying we will start Tuesday night and around 8AM the next morning, I will come check on you and start the pitocin drip. Well, my body reacted very quickly to part 1(I had shown up to the hospital with slight contractions already happening) and so by 8AM, I was way past that... and by 11:14AM, our son was born. Also, remember in one of my past posts I was living the dream that labor just felt like strong gas bubbles... well, I will say it was just a little more than that ;-) Honestly, I can't really remember how strong the contractions were because I remember the pushing part much more. And to really be honest, once the baby was born, it all just becomes minor details. Because now you have a new person in your life and that's just a total miracle. I mean, really. What a miracle! But I used my yoga tenchinques and my birthing position techniques and had my amazing husband next to me coaching me through it all and most of all was God's word.
A friend of mine had sent me a verse on induction day that became my meditation verse... even the doctor read it out loud to me! Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Just reading and re-reading scripture verses was powerful! Now now, I'm not saying if you were a fly on the wall that you would necessarily describe me as calm but what I am saying is that God's word is alive and active! And he did strengthen me and help me and uphold me. And he continues to do this on this crazy journey of motherhood. There is so much that I can (and do!) fear! And it's really tiring. Because you give everything to this little being who gives you nothing back. No thank yous. No pay back. He doesn't give me a back massage if I make him a really nice dinner or two... I can't make a deal or a compromise with him. And then I have a husband who comes home from working all day who helps change diapers and who gives his all to this baby and I want to serve him, too. I want to choose to serve him with a glad and joyful and thankful heart. And all this serving other people is a choice. And I realize more than ever that my strength comes from God. Because I am only capable of keeping a human being alive for 30 days and counting because God lets me do that.
OK. Felix is stirring and it's almost 2nd breakfast time. Yes, he's like my grandma in that sense. Although I'm pretty sure her second breakfast consists of some sort of solid foods... And there's so much more I could share. Also, I know I need to update the blog heading and pictures but bear with us! I'm working with my white apple laptop (which they dont make anymore) from college! So until the next blog... Can't promise it will be any time soon.
p.s. a few days later and now I'm finally getting to post this.... or attempting it. Here are some pics of the babe!
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